It turned out Uncle Brandon didn’t need a cheerleader

Every family has its own way of showing encouragement. Mine definitely did.

When someone in our crew cocoon did something hard, we celebrated. We told them we were proud, noticed their progress, and reminded them of how far they’d come.

So when Uncle Brandon was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, we thought the same kind of encouragement would help him, too. However, we slightly missed the mark on this.

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Uncle Brandon grew up in the country. He was the kind of man who believed if something was broken, you figured out how to fix it. If there was work to be done, you rolled up your sleeves and got started. Waiting around for someone else to solve a problem simply wasn’t in his nature.

His determination didn’t fade when Parkinson’s came into his life. If anything, it grew even stronger. Whenever he finished a task that had become harder because of his symptoms, we wanted to celebrate him.

“You did it, Uncle Brandon!”

“Great job today!”

“I’m so proud of you.”

If you’ve ever met someone who accepted compliments with nothing more than a shrug and a quick, “All right now,” then you’ve met someone a lot like Uncle Brandon.

The more we praised him, the more I noticed he’d politely brush it aside and move on to the next thing. Looking back, I realized those words probably landed differently than we intended.

What Uncle Brandon really needed

He never seemed comfortable being applauded for doing something he had been doing for decades before Parkinson’s. Whether it was walking a little farther, putting something together, or completing an everyday task around the house, he didn’t want a cheerleading section following him around, celebrating every accomplishment.

He wasn’t looking for a standing ovation. He simply wanted the opportunity to keep living his life.

Over time, I noticed something. What really encouraged Uncle Brandon wasn’t loud praise. It was quiet confidence — a simple nod or a quick “Looks good.” Then we’d just move on with our day. There was no big celebration, and there didn’t need to be.

I never asked him why he liked it that way. Knowing Uncle Brandon, he probably would have just shrugged off the question. But after years of watching him live with Parkinson’s, I realized our quiet confidence meant more to him than any loud encouragement. That didn’t mean we cared any less. It meant we trusted him. It also meant that he could hold on to a sense of normalcy in his everyday life.

We trusted him to handle challenges in his own way. We trusted him to ask for help when he needed it, instead of assuming he always did. Most of all, we trusted that Parkinson’s hadn’t changed who he really was.

That small shift taught me something I’ll carry with me long after my caregiving journey: Encouragement isn’t one-size-fits-all.

Some people thrive on applause and nuggets of encouragement. Others simply want the freedom to accomplish something without feeling like they’ve crossed a finish line every time they complete an everyday task.

For Uncle Brandon, the greatest encouragement we could offer wasn’t telling him he was amazing. It was quietly believing he still could be.

Sometimes the best way to support someone isn’t with louder applause but with quiet confidence that makes its presence known through saying, “I believe in you.”

And for Uncle Brandon, that was all the encouragement he ever needed.

Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.