Caregiving Unfiltered – a Column by Crystal Onyema

Caregiving brings a kind of guilt that isn’t about making mistakes. It shows up when you try your best but still wonder if it was enough. I felt that one night with my late Uncle Brandon. He loved the racing drag strip — the sounds, the energy, and being in…

I didn’t expect just how much my relationship with my late uncle Brandon would change over the years. When I was a kid, he was always the one who got everyone going in the morning. I remember us kids staying up too late playing Nintendo, thinking we were sneaky. No…

One of the initial things I didn’t understand when I became a Parkinson’s caregiver was that not everyone is ready to share their diagnosis right away. From the outside, it can feel like something that should just be said so that people understand what’s going on. But for my…

Some of the moments that stay with me the most aren’t the big, expected ones. They’re the moments that caught me off guard, when everything felt a little tense, a little uncertain, and then somehow turned into something I ended up laughing about later. One evening, after spending the day…

Most people first think of the physical symptoms when they hear about Parkinson’s disease. Tremors, stiffness, slowed movement, and changes in speech are the most common signs. But for many families, there’s another worry. We fear that the person we love might slowly lose the personality that makes them…

One thing I learned quickly as a caregiver is that much of the work happens where no one else can see it. Most people think of caregiving in clear, visible ways. They imagine helping someone stand, driving to appointments, or handling medications. These supporting acts are important, but…

For a long time, I saw Parkinson’s disease as a problem that just needed the right fix. Like a car that had stalled or hit a rough patch, I thought it could be tuned until it ran smoothly again. My Uncle Brandon had faced tougher challenges before. He wasn’t…

It still feels like yesterday when Tony Romo was having a monster game. By early in the third quarter, the hometown Dallas Cowboys were up 27-3, and it looked like they were finally going to pull it off. Then it unraveled. Three interceptions later, they had lost 34-30. Another season…

The drive home turned into a quiet ceremony, a gentle transition between worlds I didn’t yet have the language for. After spending long days with my uncle Brandon, who had Parkinson’s disease, I would get in the car, turn on something soothing and timeless like Sade, and let the…

I previously wrote about how Parkinson’s disease did not arrive in my life all at once, but through memory, in moments that only made sense years later, when I found myself replaying the past, trying to understand what I had missed and why it still mattered. Caregiving, however,…