Looking back on the unexpected gifts that Parkinson’s brought
A columnist bids her readers farewell as she reflects on strength and community
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Life takes many twists and turns and often leads you to places you never imagined. The addition of my husband Arman’s Parkinson’s disease to our lives has certainly taken us on an unexpected journey.
As I set out on this caregiver path, I quickly realized that there is no road map, directions, or manual included with the diagnosis. I found myself stumbling and struggling, hoping that I would manage to find my way.
As I aimlessly wandered about on this new adventure without a compass in hand, I was simultaneously looking for the bright side of it all, constantly seeking out the positives that I could attribute to this devastating illness.
In my quest to find the good, I was surprised to learn there is actually a lot of it; I just needed to know where to look. Additionally, I needed to reframe my thoughts and definitions of what the bright side of life looked like to me.
Raising our family
Arman and I raised three children as we navigated the stages of Parkinson’s. At the beginning, I feared the worst, that my kids would suffer pain, loss, sadness, and possibly neglect at the hands of this ugly, debilitating disease. I imagined a fractured, disconnected family and an unhappy home.
Much to my surprise and delight, our lives and our home were the opposite. Our children were happy kids who grew into successful, independent young adults. From a very young age, they became empathetic, strong, independent, patient, and selfless. This unanticipated gift came as a result of living with a parent who has a chronic illness.
Marriage
When the doctor diagnoses your 38-year-old spouse with a chronic, progressive neurodegenerative disease with no known cure, it’s physically impossible to imagine a bright side to that news. Period.
But as time slowly passes, and the shock of the words “early-onset Parkinson’s disease” settles in, the light, ever so slightly, begins to peek out at the end of the tunnel. We realized that the best path forward to survive this was to “get busy living, or get busy dying.”
Marriage isn’t always easy, and adding a chronic illness to it can undoubtedly make the hard times harder. But it can also make the bond stronger and the love much greater. That is another surprising gift that landed in our laps.
Sharing our story
About four years ago, I thought about documenting our journey. I didn’t want to forget anything along the way, and writing about it seemed like the best way to pass our story on to future generations. I hoped that my grandchildren and their children would be interested in learning about us.
Soon after I had this idea, I read about an opportunity to become a columnist for Parkinson’s News Today, my go-to source for all things Parkinson’s. With some hesitation, I applied for the job, knowing that I probably wasn’t a great fit since I had no formal training.
The amazing people at Parkinson’s News Today did, in fact, offer me the chance to tell my story and share it with the world. This is yet another gift that Parkinson’s brought into my life.
I will be forever grateful to the team at Bionews, the publisher of this website, for the trust they’ve put in me. The people I’ve encountered have been some of the most wonderful additions to my life, and I will miss their daily presence immensely. The handprint they’ve left on my heart will be there forever.
I’m also thankful to all the readers who have shown me so much love along the way by reading my story and sending wonderful comments. Thank you for the unconditional support — it meant a whole lot to me.
As you might’ve guessed, I’ve decided to take a much-needed break from writing and sharing my story. A popular quote sums up how I feel: “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
Personally, I don’t like goodbyes. When I say goodbye to my kids, I prefer to say, “See you later.” That feels less sad, and far less final. So, my friends, I will not say goodbye, I’ll say, “I’ll see you later.”
Until then, I encourage you to watch for the unlikely gifts that Parkinson’s may bring to your lives. These gifts may be hiding in some strange place, so take the time to look. I promise it’ll be worth it.
Until we meet again, keep looking for the bright side. 🙂
Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.
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