My dad maintains an attitude of gratitude while living with Parkinson’s

Several years ago, I wrote a column that described the sense of presence that Parkinson’s disease brought to our lives after my dad’s diagnosis in 2013. After the whirlwind of the diagnosis and navigating the logistics of what it meant for my dad to have the condition, we began leaning into our new future. Eventually, moments of gratitude appeared.

While I wouldn’t wish the disease on anyone, in my column, I talked about the way in which the diagnosis made me more aware of the time I have with my dad, causing me to become more intentional with our interactions. I said that in some ways, I’m grateful that the disease afforded me mindfulness.

At the mention of this, a stranger commented on the piece, saying that there’s nothing to be grateful for when it comes to Parkinson’s.

Recommended Reading

Nov. 7, 2023 Columns by Jamie Askari

I feel thankful every day, despite the challenges of Parkinson’s

I thought a lot about that comment. Was I out of touch when I wrote about gratitude? When a disease is all-consuming, is it possible for there to be moments of clarity in the midst of the chaos? Was I out of line by expressing what I thought was a silver lining in an otherwise horrific sequence of events?

I think there’s always a silver lining, even in the darkest of times, and I’d bet that Dad agrees.

Maybe that silver lining is a morning without muscle stiffness, or a day without tremors. Or maybe it’s the mindfulness that comes when you’re not sure how long you’ll have together. That’s the silver lining that I wrote about — the opportunity to choose how I engaged with my dad instead of waiting until it was too late.

Don’t get me wrong. On many occasions, I’ve asked Dad how he’s doing, and he responded, “I’d be better if I didn’t have Parkinson’s.” The tongue-in-cheek response always makes us laugh. But there’s a jagged edge to his joke, too. It’s a simple acknowledgment that life with Parkinson’s is unfair, difficult, and relentless.

Still, Dad’s general outlook on life practically glows. When I come home, his eyes twinkle while he listens to our family chats in the living room (although the disease has made him less likely to engage in conversation). My mom, who is my dad’s primary caregiver, regularly notes that Dad’s attitude of gratitude makes it easier for her to cook him breakfast and support him in the ways that she can.

The disease, though heartless and unforgiving, seems to have softened my dad rather than hardened him. And I’m really proud of that.

Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.