Getting sick when you already have a chronic illness
I always wonder what other people think when I say I’m sick
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If you’re a regular reader of this column, you may have noticed I haven’t published anything new in a few weeks. You see, I was sick. I had the flu — the same terrible one that seems to be affecting people all over the country.
I always say that having the flu reminds you of all the times you thought you had the flu, but didn’t. Because when you do have it, you know it’s not just a cold, no matter how bad you thought your cold was. With the flu, you are down-and-out sick.
Saying “I was sick” seems a little odd, because in a way, I’m always sick due to my Parkinson’s. I don’t like being viewed as a victim of Parkinson’s disease, but I’m always, on some level, sick. Whether I’m at work or with family and friends, I’m always a bit slower, less coordinated, and more likely to be tired than a normal 48-year-old woman.
But then, a few weeks ago, this flu hit me. I was traveling back home after a work conference, and as I was boarding the plane, a little kid sat in the seat in front of me, which was no big deal — until I heard a big, deep, cheesy cough, like only little kids can make, coming from him. I knew immediately it would end badly.
Sure enough, two days later, I was running a fever, had aches and chills, was coughing, and was getting dizzy from all the congestion. In short, I was sick as a dog and unable to do much of anything except sleep and hydrate for nearly a week.
Other people’s perceptions shouldn’t matter, but …
Despite the very real symptoms I had, I always wonder what other people think when I say I’m sick, because I already have a chronic illness. Do they judge me for already being sick and slowed down by Parkinson’s, and think I can’t handle “a little cold?” How do you explain that the same flu that took out half the people you know hits you just as hard as it does anyone “healthy,” and it isn’t because you’re weak?
I tell myself that others’ judgment of me should be irrelevant. But when you have a chronic illness, and when you try as hard as I do to hide that fact from other people as much as possible, you think about being judged. You don’t want to complain or “play the Parky card.” How do you separate the reality of the flu from wondering if you just come off as weak and complaining?
I know I need to let that worry go. I was sick. Just as someone with Parkinson’s is just as likely as anyone else to get hit by a truck or win the lottery, we also get colds and the flu and COVID-19. I need to let myself be human, and not the poster girl for the perfect Parkinson’s patient who never complains.
Luckily, the flu passed, and I’m finally back to my “normal” self. Now I need to let the guilt about being judged pass as well.
Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.
D. MaGee
What does one do, when they have had diagnosed Parkinson’s for 10 years, and then, in a period of 3 months, got diagnosed with another neurological, serious ailment, a serious heart condition, and an immunological deficiency rare disease, where one has to have $4000.00 monthly IV infusions of human antibodies replacement therapy, for the rest of their lives? That’s where I’m at right now! It is mind boggling, and makes me feel very vulnerable! Old age is not what I thought it would be! Any advice! D
Crystal Johnston
As I was reading your column, I felt as though I was writing it. Thankfully I have dodged this episode of the flu (so far) but can definitely relate to being slower and off balance for a 52 year old. I was diagnosed at 46, had DBS surgery 2 years later and work full time. In a lot of ways PD has been a blessing for me as my walk with the LORD has strengthened! May you have a Blessed Week!
Steve Lazarus
Thanks for sharing Mollie. As a CarePartner, I have to constantly remind ourselves that "It does not matter what other people think." You have a hard enough time getting through each day with what you are dealing with, what other folks think should not be additional baggage. Do Your best, and don't apologize for who You are. You didn't choose this and just because someone else does not understand, you don't need to pay them any mind. Glad You are better. Regards and Blessings, Steve
Jason Bowman
I’m 55 and have had Parkinson’s for 30+ years. So, I have a lot of experience with trying to manage this disease. An observation I’ve had consistently thru the last 10-15 years is when I’m sick with a cold, flu, fever, stomach bug, strep throat, etc. my medication is at least 50% less effective and my “off time” is significantly longer. It wasn’t always like that. Has anyone else had similar experiences or issues?
John Citron
Mollie,
You have my sympathy big time! I don't care what people think when I say I'm sick. When I feel so wretched and knocked down with fatigue, ache all over, and my PD symptoms are through the roof, people will get an earful if they ask.
I've been so sick that I've been quarantined and not allowed into the office. My manager had a hissy fit over it until he received a doctor's not explaining more than me needing time off. It turned out whatever it was that seemed like a bad cold was actually contagious pneumonia.
The thing is, I have always felt like I'm coming down with the flu or some kind of cold. This has gone on for years and years and when checked, I show something in my system, but nothing specific. Blood tests after blood tests showed nothing until recently.
In addition to Parkinson's Disease, I also have Sjögren's Disease. SD is quite serious, it's much more than just dry eyes, cankers, and a dry mouth especially in guys because most guys "don't get it" like women do according to most doctors, and the symptoms can be attributed to a lot of things.
This diagnosis came about after I had very dry eyes causing ulcerations and then required surgery due to severe corneal erosions. I talked to my primary care doctor who sent me to the Rheumatology department for further testing.
The problem I have with people is when they tell me I'm faking it when they don't see my tremors or me falling because I've lost my balance.