Even after a Parkinson’s diagnosis, life goes on
As life continues, we must learn to do the same
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When a diagnosis is made, life goes on. You walk out of your doctor’s office in a fog, wondering if this is a nightmare you’re about to wake up from. You slowly wander into the crowded elevator and can barely muster the strength to push the buttons. You somehow manage to find your car in the parking lot, and you drive home as the tears roll down your face. The world keeps spinning; there’s traffic on the highway, rain falling from the sky, and people continuing to live their lives. Nothing has changed, yet everything has changed.
After my husband, Arman, was diagnosed with early-onset Parkinson’s disease in 2009, I functioned as a stranger to myself for some time, continuing to live as if nothing had happened. I was like a ghost, peeking quietly into my own reality every once in a while.
I was playing a character based on my life before the diagnosis. But that life was gone, in the past, never to be the same again. Parkinson’s disease was here to stay. As much as I pretended that it wasn’t a new storyline in our lives, it was.
It felt like all of our hopes, plans, and dreams had been derailed. Our path was no longer predictable, and that was scary. The future was unknown, which left me feeling helpless.
Choosing the second door
Before the Parkinson’s diagnosis, I imagined a beautiful life for our family of five, filled with fragrant spring flowers, warm sunshine, and colorful rainbows. Maybe that was a bit unrealistic, but a girl can dream!
After the diagnosis, I feared our life would resemble the forest of thorns, like Disney’s “Sleeping Beauty.” I pictured myself, sword in hand, swinging at the thorns as they grew faster than I could cut them down.
I had so many questions and so few answers. Parkinson’s doesn’t follow any set of rules. In fact, no two people with the disease experience the same exact symptoms, response to treatments, or side effects of medications; it is very individualized. Our neurologist could not predict the journey that Parkinson’s would take us on.
We were faced with two distinct options (think game show doors):
- Be miserable, angry, and sad, and wait for Parkinson’s to eventually completely debilitate my husband and our life.
- Live each day to the fullest and find laughter, joy, and peace, even during hard times. In other words, “Get busy living, or get busy dying.”
We selected door No. 2 on the game show of our lives and prepared to wing it with smiles on our faces. We were determined to find happiness and not let the diagnosis steal away our dreams; to live in the moment and let life go on, despite the million unknowns ahead of us.
I stepped into my role, leaving the nosy ghost behind. I slowly began to embrace our new reality, learning that I was more than capable of handling the unpredictable challenges ahead of our family.
It was easier than I had imagined; in fact, it came fairly naturally. Arman and I have always been positive people, looking at the bright side of life, so this was the right path for our family. Additionally, we wanted to model this positive attitude for our three young children.
As I learned on the day my husband was diagnosed, life goes on. It doesn’t stop, regardless of what we are dealing with. It continues, and we must do the same.
Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.
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