Loving my uncle meant learning a new way to talk about Parkinson’s

One of the toughest things about caregiving wasn’t always the words themselves. It was figuring out how to say them.

As my uncle Brandon’s Parkinson’s disease progressed, there were certain conversations we couldn’t avoid. One of the biggest was about his mobility and the need for more support. Specifically, a walker.

For my uncle, that wasn’t an easy conversation. He was a proud man who had always carried himself with strength. The idea of using a walker didn’t just feel like a physical adjustment. To him, it felt like something that might take away his independence or make people look at him differently.

My aunt tried to talk to him because she was worried about his safety. She saw the risks and wanted to protect him. But he wasn’t ready to hear it. What felt like care to her felt like pressure to him. I realized we needed a new approach. So instead of bringing it up head-on, I tried to meet him where he was.

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Starting the conversation

One day, while we were in the garage doing a few small chores, I focused on what I knew he loved most — his sense of humor.

I joked with him and said that, as much as he probably enjoyed having me as his personal chauffeur, he might enjoy having something else help get him around that didn’t talk back. He laughed. A real, genuine laugh. And in that moment, the tension eased just enough for him to open up.

He admitted that it wasn’t the walker itself that bothered him most. It was what it stood for. He was afraid of losing his independence. So I shifted the conversation.

I explained that using a walker wouldn’t take away his independence. It would actually help extend it. It would give him the support he needed to move safely, especially as changes in movement and coordination made everyday mobility less predictable.

After that, he got quiet, and I let him have that space. I had learned by then that not every conversation needed to be finished in one sitting. Sometimes, the most important part was simply planting the seed and giving him space to process it on his own terms.

Meeting someone where they are

A few days later, I followed up in a different way. I showed him a brochure and pulled up a few videos so he could see how a walker could actually work for him, including models like the U-Step walker. Even then, I didn’t push. I gave him time and answered his questions.

Then one day, in front of my aunt and the rest of the family, he made a small joke about being tired of how slow we were and said it might be time for him to have something to help him move around better. Just like that, the conversation changed. It wasn’t forced. It wasn’t pressured. It was his decision.

From there, we made sure it was included in the plan for his next doctor’s visit. With time, support, and a little rehabilitation, he was able to start using the walker in a way that worked for him.

Looking back, that moment taught me something I didn’t fully understand at the time. Sometimes love doesn’t sound like firm instructions or urgent conversations. Sometimes it sounds like patience, timing, and knowing how to meet someone where they are. Because the goal isn’t just to say what needs to be said. It’s to say it in a way they can receive.

And in Parkinson’s caregiving, where challenges like balance, mobility, and safety can continue to evolve over time, that approach can make all the difference in helping someone feel supported instead of restricted.

Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.