I want my now-self to tell my then-self everything will be OK

If I had a time machine, I would travel back to 2009. Like Michael J. Fox in “Back To The Future,” I would jump into that silver DeLorean and go! I would go back to when my husband, Arman, was diagnosed with early-onset Parkinson’s disease at 38 and early in his career as a cardiologist.

I would squeeze my young hand and assure my younger self that things would be OK. I would look into my much more youthful-looking face (sans gray hair and wrinkles), tell myself how things have gone since his diagnosis, and give that earlier me some much-needed advice and assurance.

I would tell my young self that the kids would be OK despite their dad’s Parkinson’s disease. No, it wouldn’t be easy for them, just the opposite. It would be a challenge that they would deal with every day. Almost every decision they’ll make will be based on making life easier for their dad and our family. I’d explain to my younger self that this has made them stronger and more empathic people, that all three of them would grow up to become young adults who have made us both proud and have exceeded our hopes and dreams for them.

Recommended Reading

April 18, 2023 Columns by Jamie Askari

The perks — and we found some! — of living with Parkinson’s disease

If I knew then what I know now

I would happily tell my younger self that our marriage has weathered the storms of the diagnosis, the debilitating symptoms, the surgeries, the therapies, the career loss, and countless other life challenges. I would explain that strength, partnership, and a no-fail attitude have been a winning combination in our fight against this disease. I would explain how these challenges will constantly test us and there will be days when we are both too tired to fight, but to not give up. There is no giving up or room for this attitude, so do not consider going there, I will say to her.

And what about the most important person in this story — Arman? I haven’t even mentioned him! I saved the best for last.

Arman is amazing, I will tell my young self. He wakes up every morning smiling, happy to be next to the love of his life (me!). His attitude is positively infectious to all of us around him. Instead of complaining or feeling sorry for himself, he always looks at the bright side of life. Although he stepped away from his career soon after his diagnosis, he sees this as a gift. He values the time he can spend with our family and feels so fortunate that we have been able to raise our kids together. Yes, his Parkinson’s has progressed, but he manages to look at every day as a fresh start and doesn’t let the pain get him down. He is truly a hero and the best father and role model to our children. 

It’s time for me to return to 2024 and the real world. Much has changed since 2009, but the journey has been worth the ride, even if it wasn’t in a DeLorean!

Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, BioNews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.