Caregiving Unfiltered
— Crystal Onyema

Before Parkinson’s disease, my late uncle Brandon was always on the move. He always needed something to do, especially on weekends. If he wasn’t planning a hunting trip, he was outside grilling ribs, sausage, or brisket and inviting neighbors over without a second thought. The house was rarely quiet.

One of the toughest things about caregiving wasn’t always the words themselves. It was figuring out how to say them. As my uncle Brandon’s Parkinson’s disease progressed, there were certain conversations we couldn’t avoid. One of the biggest was about his mobility and the need for more support. Specifically,…

As I’ve previously mentioned, my late uncle Brandon loved a good “chill and grill.” He didn’t just grill for fun. He could put together a full Texas-style feast that always seemed to appear out of nowhere. As a kid, I used to wonder how he managed to get ribs,…

I was his niece, but Uncle Brandon meant much more to me. He felt like a second father. Back then, my dad worked nights as he tried to build his teaching career, so we didn’t see him much. To be honest, there was also an emotional distance. He grew up…

Caregiving brings a kind of guilt that isn’t about making mistakes. It shows up when you try your best but still wonder if it was enough. I felt that one night with my late Uncle Brandon. He loved the racing drag strip — the sounds, the energy, and being in…

I didn’t expect just how much my relationship with my late uncle Brandon would change over the years. When I was a kid, he was always the one who got everyone going in the morning. I remember us kids staying up too late playing Nintendo, thinking we were sneaky. No…

One of the initial things I didn’t understand when I became a Parkinson’s caregiver was that not everyone is ready to share their diagnosis right away. From the outside, it can feel like something that should just be said so that people understand what’s going on. But for my…

Some of the moments that stay with me the most aren’t the big, expected ones. They’re the moments that caught me off guard, when everything felt a little tense, a little uncertain, and then somehow turned into something I ended up laughing about later. One evening, after spending the day…

Most people first think of the physical symptoms when they hear about Parkinson’s disease. Tremors, stiffness, slowed movement, and changes in speech are the most common signs. But for many families, there’s another worry. We fear that the person we love might slowly lose the personality that makes them…

One thing I learned quickly as a caregiver is that much of the work happens where no one else can see it. Most people think of caregiving in clear, visible ways. They imagine helping someone stand, driving to appointments, or handling medications. These supporting acts are important, but…