My uncle’s cackle made his house feel like home

“I’m trying to shake it and not break it.”

That was Uncle Brandon’s line.

If his hands shook while he carried a plate, he would grin, say those nine words in his deep, gravelly voice, and then let out a cackle that filled the whole house.

If he dropped his fork at dinner, he’d say, “I’m trying to shake it and not break it.” Then he would cackle. If someone noticed his tremors and asked whether he was doing OK: “I’m trying to shake it and not break it.” Cackle. It wasn’t a joke he told once or twice. It became part of the soundtrack of our family.

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Every time I drove over to visit, I could count on hearing that laugh before I heard much of anything else. It didn’t seem to matter whether he’d had a particularly good day or one where Parkinson’s disease had made everything feel just a little harder. As is the case for many people living with Parkinson’s, his symptoms were more noticeable some days than others. But somehow, that unmistakable cackle always found its way into the room.

It wasn’t a laugh he seemed embarrassed by. Quite the opposite. It was full, loud, unapologetic, and wonderfully contagious. The best way I can describe it is somewhere between a rugged country laugh and Steve Urkel cracking himself up over one of his own jokes. Before long, everyone else in the room was laughing, too.

That was simply Uncle Brandon. Looking back, I don’t know whether he intended for his humor to lighten the room or simply lighten the moment for himself. What I do know is that it always seemed to do both.

Finding joy, even with Parkinson’s disease

Parkinson’s certainly resulted in difficult days. There were moments when his tremors interrupted everyday tasks or when he’d accidentally drop something he was trying to carry. Yet, instead of allowing those moments to become awkward or discouraging, he’d often beat us to the punch with one of his trademark one-liners. “I’m trying to shake it and not break it.” Then came that familiar snicker.

It never erased what he was living with. It didn’t make Parkinson’s disappear. But for a few moments, it reminded us all that there was still room for joy.

As caregivers, we often focus on medications, diet, appointments, physical therapy, and symptom management. Those things matter tremendously, and they should. But somewhere along the way, I realized we can become so focused on managing the disease that we forget to notice the little things that continue to define the person we love.

For my family, that was Uncle Brandon’s laugh. It wasn’t scheduled. It wasn’t prescribed. It wasn’t something a doctor could measure during an appointment. Yet, somehow, it became just as much a part of our family’s rhythm as anything else.

The first time I walked into the house after Uncle Brandon passed away, something immediately felt different. It wasn’t the furniture, the television, or even the silence. It was the absence of a sound I’d come to expect.

No cackle greeted me. No playful one-liner floated in from the living room. No familiar voice reminded us he was “trying to shake it and not break it.”

That’s when I realized his laughter had quietly become one of the ways I measured his home and a big part of his world. It greeted me before conversations began. It softened difficult days. It reminded me that even when Parkinson’s was present, joy could be present, too.

I still hear that line from time to time, usually when something slips out of my own hands or life doesn’t quite go according to plan. In my mind, I can still hear Uncle Brandon clear his throat, grin, and say, “I’m trying to shake it and not break it.” Then in comes the familiar sound of his voracious laughter.

Even now, years later, the memory still makes me crack a smile.

Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.