Getting sick when you already have a chronic illness

If you’re a regular reader of this column, you may have noticed I haven’t published anything new in a few weeks. You see, I was sick. I had the flu — the same terrible one that seems to be affecting people all over the country.

I always say that having the flu reminds you of all the times you thought you had the flu, but didn’t. Because when you do have it, you know it’s not just a cold, no matter how bad you thought your cold was. With the flu, you are down-and-out sick.

Saying “I was sick” seems a little odd, because in a way, I’m always sick due to my Parkinson’s. I don’t like being viewed as a victim of Parkinson’s disease, but I’m always, on some level, sick. Whether I’m at work or with family and friends, I’m always a bit slower, less coordinated, and more likely to be tired than a normal 48-year-old woman.

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But then, a few weeks ago, this flu hit me. I was traveling back home after a work conference, and as I was boarding the plane, a little kid sat in the seat in front of me, which was no big deal — until I heard a big, deep, cheesy cough, like only little kids can make, coming from him. I knew immediately it would end badly.

Sure enough, two days later, I was running a fever, had aches and chills, was coughing, and was getting dizzy from all the congestion. In short, I was sick as a dog and unable to do much of anything except sleep and hydrate for nearly a week.

Other people’s perceptions shouldn’t matter, but …

Despite the very real symptoms I had, I always wonder what other people think when I say I’m sick, because I already have a chronic illness. Do they judge me for already being sick and slowed down by Parkinson’s, and think I can’t handle “a little cold?” How do you explain that the same flu that took out half the people you know hits you just as hard as it does anyone “healthy,” and it isn’t because you’re weak?

I tell myself that others’ judgment of me should be irrelevant. But when you have a chronic illness, and when you try as hard as I do to hide that fact from other people as much as possible, you think about being judged. You don’t want to complain or “play the Parky card.” How do you separate the reality of the flu from wondering if you just come off as weak and complaining?

I know I need to let that worry go. I was sick. Just as someone with Parkinson’s is just as likely as anyone else to get hit by a truck or win the lottery, we also get colds and the flu and COVID-19. I need to let myself be human, and not the poster girl for the perfect Parkinson’s patient who never complains.

Luckily, the flu passed, and I’m finally back to my “normal” self. Now I need to let the guilt about being judged pass as well.

Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.