What to Say to Someone with Parkinson’s Disease
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You’ve probably read articles with titles like, “10 Things Not to Say to a Person with Parkinson’s.” These typically include statements like, “But you don’t look sick,” or perhaps, “My Uncle Nero had that, and his arms fell off.” You’ve heard the possible and the far-fetched, the comments that are better left unsaid.
Well, this column is taking a turn.
Instead of the things you shouldn’t say, I want to share five things that you can say to people with Parkinson’s.
Make sure that your comments are encouraging, informative (in a sensitive way), or bring lightness or humor to the situation.
If you’d like to make a positive difference in the life of a Parkinson’s patient, try my following suggestions of things to say that may change their day for the better.
- Is there anything I can do for you? You might be surprised at what a person with a chronic illness may need help with. Tasks from toenail clipping to folding laundry can be difficult with Parkinson’s.
- How can I pray for you? Parkinson’s isn’t just about the symptoms. A person with any disease must also deal with the normal chaos of life. A prayer may be what is needed. And why wait to do it before you go to bed? Praying with someone right there and then is often welcomed.
- You look so nice today. Compliments can be a rare commodity to a patient when they feel stiff and twisted up. The smallest observation can make a big difference. For example, “Your nails look so pretty,” or “That haircut looks good on you.”
- Here, let me help you with that. We want to be independent, but our level of self-reliance is waning gradually. Offers of assistance are usually met with gratitude rather than resistance.
- I enjoy your company. People with Parkinson’s can feel as though their life lacks a sense of purpose. Knowing that someone wants to spend time with them can make all the difference to their day.
What positive words do you have for a person with Parkinson’s? Please share them in the comments below.
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Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.
About the Author
Joan Wikkerink
For Patients with advanced Parkinsons just being there, holding their hand, listening and loving them for who they are in that day - good or bad. Being patient. Asking for their advice on tasks they once did. Smiling and loving them!
Sherri Woodbridge
Joan - what great advice! I especially liked “asking for their advice...”. How truea and how important! Thanks for leaving your comment!
Sherri Woodbridge
What a great comment, Joan! Thanks for taking the time to add your thoughts and ideas!
John
I am 72, and have had Parkinson's symptoms for 11 years.
The nicest thing people say to me is how inspired they are by my dogged determination to keep producing at a high level. I am still employed.
Sherri Woodbridge
John - good for you! Keep going!!!
Diane Soto
Fantastic!!! My husband has PD was diagnosed in 2012 and I always use encouraging words to help him in his many struggles.
Sherri Woodbridge
Thanks for your comment, Diane. He is lucky to have you!
Jane Fellman
Thanks to Becky for sending this to me.Have been wondering where to go to be able to stay in touch with all this info.I look forward to getting your newsletter.
Jane
Sherri Woodbridge
Thanks for your comment, Jane!
Tammy Fredericks
I have learned so much from you. Your stamina and gift of positivity.
Sherri Woodbridge
Thanks you Tammy, for such a gracious comment.
Esther Woodbridge
Love reading your postings Sherri. SO proud of you!!!!
Sherri Woodbridge
Thanks so much! Couldn’t do it without your encouragement!
Francesca Seidita
I am still in denial about my diagnosis, but it is good to see people who have been living with PD.
Sophie Rys
We ALL have "Something." I think of all the Great people who had, or have Parkinsons.And I truly BELIEVE that Some day we'll all meet "Up There" and celebrate, to-gether.I Believe.
wayne millen
People sometimes tell me; "You're looking good" I good naturedly tell them that is the third stage of life. There is (1)youth, (2)middle age and (3)you are looking good
Sherri Woodbridge
Wayne - LOL!!! Great response!
Wade Hone
I have an atypical form of Parkinson's that is much more rapid progressing than is common. I am 58, and often feel like 108. People, even friends, often shy from engagement because they think I'll not feel well enough to do anything. However, true friends realize any plans may be changed on a moment's notice, and they are perfectly fine with that. I find that the best conversations are when a friend simply takes charge and says we are going to do this or that. I do enjoy an escape from the house but, if I have to make decisions, the energy is often not worth it. "What day would you like me to pick you up and take you to the museum? We'll eat lunch there and leave whenever you get too weak." That's what I like to hear!
Leigh Liu
This is lovely. Truly, treating our loved ones with kindness and respect no matter what their circumstance is always the best route. From a caregiver's perspective, providing daily care for a family member who has Parkinson's can take a toll, and it's essential to remember to treat yourself with kindness as well. This article was a reminder for me and I hope it can be for others. https://morninggloryhomecare.com/parkinsons-disease-care-part-3/
Carol Strongy
I have a friend who is 54 and has had PD for 10 years. She is very angry at life, and believes God has abandoned her. Any thoughts about the spiritual side of someone with PD? I don’t say much, just listen, but I’m so sad for her, and I have no idea what to say or do to help her despair. Any comments would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
jane jensen
Wade, this is so true. My hubby has had P for 8 years now. He is much better with me just making plans and letting him know where and time. Being involved in all the in-between is too much. We do a day at a time and it works for us. It's better to not think ahead or it can really get you down. He was also just recently diagnoised with ALZ.
Hang in there!
Derek Foden
My Parkinson disease symptoms started at the age of 47. The fingers on my left hand were stiff and were difficult to move. People noticed that my walk was not normal. I was often asked if I was hurt. I noticed nothing different about my walk. It was difficult getting up from a chair and getting out of a car. I was diagnosed a year later ,it was the onset of tremors starting in my right hand that caused my other symptoms to be recognized as Parkinson's.. I am now 59. With the new herbal medicine for Parkinson I purchased from Multivitamincare . org was my only way to get rid of my PD,the herbal formula effectively reversed my condition and alleviated all my symptoms, people are suffering from this Parkinson disease due to lack of information.