I find myself wishing Dad would fight harder against Parkinson’s

My time with my dad is limited by geographical distance: He lives in Michigan while I live in Colorado. When I go home to see him, the Parkinson’s decline seems more obvious to me than it might to those who are with him every day. So when I find myself in his living room, monitoring how he’s changed, I feel a sense of urgency.

His shakes seem worse when I go home. And he speaks less. (Dad has always been a man of few words, but I suspect that his growing speech difficulties have made him even less inclined to join the household chatter.) Watching the ebbs and flows of his Parkinson’s makes me feel that he should try harder. Or that if he just added more routines to the mix, the pace of his degeneration might slow.

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How I learned to better understand my dad’s Parkinson’s progression

Since his diagnosis in 2013, Dad has taken up a number of new habits. He was never much of a gym goer in my early life (maybe having six kids was gym time enough), but the diagnosis encouraged him to change the way he moved. He started boxing and kept up the routine until the pandemic closed down his local Rock Steady Boxing chapter. Then he took a break, hoping to establish a new boxing class.

Today, he still goes to mobility and fitness classes twice a week. I’m proud of the work he’s doing. But sometimes I still feel that it’s not enough.

If I were in charge … and I’m not

If he’s experiencing more difficulty with speech, shouldn’t he try to speak more instead of less? If he’s losing his flexibility, shouldn’t he combat the loss by going to a yoga class in addition to the other classes he takes? Shouldn’t he fight?

I know it’s not fair for me to project my expectations onto my dad. The truth is that he’s probably doing the best he can do. But there’s always this nagging part of me that feels like the amount of willpower my dad exhibits while fighting the disease is proportional to the amount of time I have left with him.

Maybe there’s a correlation. Maybe there’s not.

And ultimately, I don’t think that it’s up to me to determine how my dad should spend the remaining time he has on the planet, even if it means relinquishing added time. All I can do is determine what to do with my own life and the time that I have left.

Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.