On our 30th wedding anniversary, we’re still going strong
Reflecting on the life my husband and I have built, Parkinson's and all
As of yesterday, my husband, Arman, and I have been married for 30 years, or 10,957 days. Happy anniversary to us!
We celebrated with a rare dinner out, just the two of us. Our children surprised us by sending a delicious assortment of desserts to the restaurant, along with a candle to complete the celebration.
I did a bit of research and learned that the pearl is the traditional gemstone for a 30th wedding anniversary. This rare and expensive gem can take years to form, and the intricate process of its creation leads to a beautiful, iridescent appearance.
The pearl’s formation, rarity, and beauty are similar to marriage in many ways. As an anniversary gift, it symbolizes how love grows deeper and stronger as more layers are slowly added.
The creation of our “pearl” began when Arman and I met in high school. Being a teenager in the mid-1980s was simply the best, and we were lucky to grow up together. I fell in love quickly with his amazing laugh, his wild side, and his bright, white smile. It didn’t hurt that he was brilliant and handsome as well.
We married in our mid-20s while Arman was completing medical school. We began building a home and life together, and soon had our first child, our beautiful daughter Alexa. The layers that we were adding to our pearl seemed to be building it to perfection.
Soon after Alexa was born, we decided it was essential to move away from our home in Ohio to gain independence as a family. We loved our years living in Boston as Arman completed his medical residency. We decided that it was time for Lex to become a big sister, and our sassy girl Amanda arrived. We tended to our growing family and continued to build upon the layers of our shiny pearl.
After having two kids and spending several years away from our family, we decided to move back home to Cleveland. Arman was excited to finish his medical training there.
The three years of his fellowship passed by in a flash, and the next thing we knew, our little prince, Jacob, was born. His sisters tended to him like little mommies, and our family was complete. I felt like we truly were building the perfect pearl. I often pinched myself as I wondered if our life were a dream.
The kids were growing, Arman was thriving in his career, and the years were passing quickly and happily. All was going better than we had planned for, until it wasn’t.
Life takes a turn
Arman began having strange symptoms, and we grew worried as they continued to progress. He noticed his foot cramping up after running for an extended period. He began experiencing intense slowness and stiffness, as well as fatigue.
It took a while to diagnose, but ultimately we learned that he has early-onset Parkinson’s disease. It felt like the world had come crashing down on our family, and our perfect pearl was shattered into rubble.
While I had no idea how to dig us out of that deep, dark place, I looked at our three kids and knew that I had to do it somehow, and quickly. I had to take the lead and find our happy place again.
This diagnosis, while not easy, was not life-threatening, so we had much to be grateful for. I wouldn’t allow this bump in the road to break down all that we had built in our lives. I dusted myself off, put a smile on my face and in my heart, and slowly put back together the pieces of that pearl.
It’s been over 15 years since Arman’s diagnosis. So where are we today?
Our kids are grown, and it feels unbelievable how fast it all went. Arman and I continue to look for the bright side of every situation, including his Parkinson’s challenges. We laugh a lot and enjoy spending our cozy, simple life together.
Here’s to another 30 years of love, nighttime walks, quality time with our kids, board games, an abundance of belly laughs — and adding more beautiful layers to the shiny pearl we call our life.
Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.
About the Author
Joan Young
Would like to hesr some questions that I may be able to ask my neurologist at my next week’s appointment.i was diagnosed in 2016/17. I am wheel chair boundc as far as my ambulation goes but I am transferable to get on to the toilet etc. I am 86 years old.
Jamie Askari
Dear Joan,
It would be hard for me to suggest appropriate questions for you, as each person with PD is so unique. However, I would suggest that you write down a list of questions before your appointment so that you don't forget to ask anything. Good luck to you, and thank you for reading!
Best,
Jamie
Stephen Jackson
A beautiful story.
Jamie Askari
Hi Stephen,
Thank you for your kind words, and thank you for taking the time to read! I hope you have a wonderful day.
Best,
Jamie
Frederick Feeko
Very lovely story. I wish them 30 more years
Jamie Askari
Hi Frederick, thank you! I appreciate you reading. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Best,
Jamie
Debbie Hanson
Happy Anniversary Jamie! Such a beautiful article.
Jamie Askari
Hi Debbie,
Thank you!! I appreciate your kind words ;)
Jen
Hi Jamie - I had to comment on your story because of the common threads that our lives share. I met my husband in high school in 1985 and your description of your husband as a teen is how I'd describe my Bobby! We grew up in Boston and married in 1990. We have 3 grown children, one of whom is Alex (but ours is a boy). Bobby, however, was not diagnosed until age 54. Has Arman tried taking over the counter B1? It has been a game changer for my husband. If you haven't done so already, look up Daphne Bryan's Parkinson's and the B1 Therapy on YouTube. I also bought the book from Amazon to always have at my fingertips. My husband still has a tremor in his hand, but his mask face. empty eyes and slowness have all disappeared after starting the B1 and they haven't cropped up in 3 years. He also takes Levodopa but has never had to increase his dosage in the 3 years that he's been on it. Since starting the B1, he has run his 1st marathon and has also done 2 half marathons (his only 2!). Our 3 kids don't know that their dad even has Parkinson's - neither do his parents or his siblings - and we spend a decent amount of time with all of them. I attribute his improvement to the B1 and not the Levadopa because he was on Levadopa by itself for a while (maybe 6 months) and the mask face, empty eyes and slowness came and went. Those symptoms did not go away until we started B1. Maybe someday we will stop the Levadopa for a while to see what happens, but for now, since all is well and things seem very stable, we'll just keep him on both. I would love to hear that it also helps others with PD! I'm hoping that another common thread that you and I might share in the future is that B1 turns out to be a game changer for Arman likes it has been for Bobby.
Jamie Askari
Hi Jen, we have a lot in common! Love all of our parallels!
Thank you for the helpful suggestion of the B1 therapy. He has tried it without any benefit, unfortunately. I am so happy to hear that it has been helpful for Bobby, than is fantastic.
Stay in touch!!
Best,
Jamie
Marlene Donnelly
Congratulations on 30 years of a happy marriage! Today my husband and I are celebrating our 56th year of a happy marriage. I was diagnosed with PD i5 years ago, when we were both 63 years old. The first years were probably the most difficult, adjusting to the fact that we were not going to do things exactly as we had planned, but after awhile we adjusted. We learned we can do almost anything as long as we are flexible and don't do too much planning. That has included a cross country road trip, taking 53 days. We had a blast! Like you, we are going out to dinner tonight, and like you, we laugh a lot. We've learned that we are not in control of what happens, but we are in control of how we deal with it.
Jamie Askari
Dear Marlene,
Happy anniversary to you and your husband! Wow, 56 years, impressive!! The road trip sounds fantastic, I love that idea. The last line that you mentioned is exactly our mantra: "We are not in control of what happens, but we are in control of how we deal with it."
Thanks for reading, and I hope it was a wonderful dinner.
Best,
Jamie