Finally learning to accept help and support as a Parkinson’s caregiver
For a long time, I thought I could do it all
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Parkinson’s disease is an illness that slowly progresses every day. Symptoms change, medication side effects vary, falls happen, and there is always an element of the unknown.
Because of this, caring for a person with Parkinson’s also changes every day. As soon as I think I have the caregiving job figured out, I am reminded that there is so much more to learn.
I used to think I was superwoman, cape and all, and could handle everything that came my way with a smile. Caregiving, parenting, working — I thought I could do it all. And I did for a very long time, without accepting much help from friends and family.
Actually, it takes a village
A few months ago, my husband, Arman, had a devastating fall that resulted in six broken ribs and a punctured lung. He was hospitalized for a week, then stayed at a rehabilitation hospital for another few weeks to build up his strength and heal.
During that time, I finally began to realize the importance of accepting the help that is offered. People want to do something; they want to contribute to Arman’s care. They want to care for me, too. Since I am his only caregiver, they need me to accept their offers to assist us.
Just as it wasn’t easy for Arman to accept my help after his Parkinson’s diagnosis, it hasn’t been easy for me to accept outside help. We clearly are a stubborn match made in heaven.
The weeks at home immediately following Arman’s hospitalization were particularly challenging for me. My kids had gone back home, and it was up to me to keep Arman safe.
I am very fortunate to live in close proximity to most of my immediate family. Additionally, I have a very close group of girlfriends who live nearby. Having them around was a lifeline during that time. It still is.
I am finally accepting their offers of help, and I am OK with that. It feels great to let others into my caregiver world and allow them to lend a helping hand. I realized that they wouldn’t ask if they didn’t genuinely want to help.
Just as raising children takes a village, caregiving does too. It’s a difficult journey to navigate all alone. If you are a caregiver and are lucky enough to have support around you, embrace it. When friends offer to meet you at the car to help you with the walker, accept their assistance. When family invites you over for dinner, get out and enjoy the time with them, as socialization is important for both the caregiver and the patient.
If you have a friend or family member who is a caregiver, any offer of support is appreciated. A simple text message or phone call to check in on them is enough. If you can do more, then that is icing on the cake. Oh, and by the way, I do love cake, so bringing me one would also be appreciated.
Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.
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