How a difficult diagnosis strengthened our family bonds
My husband's diagnosis was devastating, but it created something unexpected
When my husband, Arman, was diagnosed in 2009 with early-onset Parkinson’s disease at the age of 38, it felt nearly impossible to find anything positive about our situation.
At the time, we were parents of three young children, and Arman was busy building his career as a physician. After many years of dedicated medical training, we were finally starting the life we’d dreamed of since we got married.
Hearing the experienced neurologist say the words “You have early-onset Parkinson’s disease” felt like a knife slicing through our hearts. We were both shocked, even though we’d had a strong feeling that his symptoms were from Parkinson’s disease. As much as we both knew it’d be Parkinson’s, we were both holding out hope for a different outcome.
As we slowly came to terms with the diagnosis, we realized that the best way to deal with it was to have a positive attitude. There were two distinct paths ahead of us, and we knew the path we chose would affect how our children would live. As parents, it’s important to remember that even when kids are small, they’re watching your every move. Our chosen path has enabled us to look for the good in all situations.
When one thing is lost, another is gained
Soon after his diagnosis, Arman realized he couldn’t continue with his career as a cardiologist. It was terribly painful to leave a job he was so passionate about and had trained many years for.
As he walked away from his life as a dedicated physician, he walked toward a different kind of life. It was a life in which he could have breakfast with his children and see them off to school. He could attend all of their performances, games, and other activities, which he otherwise might not have been able to do. He embraced this new role as a full-time father, which is evident in his strong relationships with our children.
While Arman was happily building unbreakable bonds with our children, they were doing the same with one another. Our three kids have incredibly close relationships that have only grown stronger as the years have passed. This bond they share because they have a parent with a chronic illness is quite unique.
Speaking of sibling relationships, my own have also strengthened since Arman’s diagnosis. My sisters and I have always been incredibly close, but our bond is now as strong as ever. One of my sisters even moved her family back home to Cleveland, where we live, to help us as Arman’s Parkinson’s progresses.
Finding the “bright side” of my husband’s diagnosis has made it much easier to handle. When I look back 15 years to the time of his diagnosis, I would’ve never guessed how many positive things have come out of this situation. With strengthening family relationships and modeling a positive outlook for our family, Parkinson’s has given us a decent number of gifts.
It’s all about searching in the right places to find the good things that can come from tough times. Don’t get me wrong; life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. But if you can find one positive for every negative, I call that a win.
Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.
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Comments
Stephen Jackson
Another inspiring article Jamie. It will serve to give hope to those who have lost it.
Jamie Askari
Hi Stephen, thank you for your very kind words! I appreciate you reading.
Mari
I’ve lived with depression for decades, it’s always been low grade but too often, it’s severe. Depression has colored my outlook, nearly taking my life several times.
Amazingly, the PD diagnosis literally snapped me into self-preservation. I hadn’t realized how resolutely I wanted to live! I’m managing PD with a more positive, hopeful attitude than I ever imagined! This is a tired cliche, but Parkinson’s for me has been “a blessing in disguise.”
Jamie Askari
Hi Mari, that is simply incredible to hear. It is always nice to hear positive things that come out of a diagnosis. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I appreciate you reading!