My caregiving journey started at the kitchen table

My cousins and I were sitting at the kitchen table, eating a meal like we’d done countless times before. The room smelled like fresh-off-the-grill Texas barbecue, and as usual, the conversation bounced easily between us.

I watched my uncle Brandon pick up his fork. His hand wobbled, knocking the food back onto his plate. In his usual jovial and sarcastic personality, he playfully cursed under his breath while still talking a mile a minute. Then he scooped the food back onto his fork and into his mouth as if nothing had happened.

That was the first time I clearly saw signs of his Parkinson’s disease.

No one said anything about it. I think he preferred it that way. He was still himself: funny, loud, and opinionated. The tremor didn’t define the moment. Still, something in me shifted that day.

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I became the first to offer a napkin, the first to grab another beer, the first to quietly handle things that didn’t need to be mentioned. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that moment marked the beginning of my role as a caregiver.

In the years that followed, I learned that supporting my uncle emotionally was just as important as helping him physically. Parkinson’s changed our routines, our conversations, and even our idea of strength.

There were doctor appointments, medication schedules, and learning more about Parkinson’s treatments. There were practical changes. But there were also quieter changes, including tremors, pauses in his speech, frustration when his body wouldn’t cooperate, and the effort it took to do things that used to be easy.

Caregiving is rarely dramatic. It’s quiet. It means noticing small changes, anticipating needs before they’re spoken, and preserving dignity whenever you can. It’s knowing when to help and when to give space.

When Brandon died in 2012, I shouldered more than grief. I also carried the lessons that Parkinson’s taught me about patience, resilience, and loving someone through change.

Looking past the symptoms

My caregiving journey started with Parkinson’s, but it didn’t end there. Years later, I was back in hospital rooms having hard conversations, this time while my late teenage nephew fought cancer. The diagnosis was different, but the pain was the same. The urge to keep things steady felt familiar.

Caregiving comes in seasons. Parkinson’s was where I first started learning about it. It taught me to look past symptoms and see the person. I learned that strength isn’t always about being independent. Sometimes it’s about being vulnerable, finding humor in tough moments, and showing up in small ways again and again.

I also learned that caregivers carry quiet burdens long before anyone else notices.

In this column, I want to talk about the unspoken parts of caregiving: the quiet changes, the humor that gets us through, the prayers whispered in kitchens and waiting rooms, the grief we feel before anyone is gone, and the exhaustion that few people notice. And how Parkinson’s changes not just the person who’s been diagnosed, but also the people who love them.

If you’ve ever offered a napkin before anyone asked, sat with someone through tremors, pain, or silence, or found a new meaning of strength, you’re not alone. Your voice matters. Your perspective matters. Your care matters.

So, each week, pull up a chair. Take a breath. Take time to focus and reflect. And let’s sit this together.

Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.