The frustration of feeling misunderstood due to Parkinson’s

Do you ever feel like screaming? On the inside, I scream fairly often. Usually, the theme is “You don’t understand!” and it’s in conjunction with some incident where it’s very clear that 1) the person doesn’t know me at all, and 2) all they can see is a shaky, slow, and unsteady woman in her 60s.

It’s been 10 years since my diagnosis, but I recently realized that one of the unexpected consequences of having Parkinson’s disease is the frustration of being treated like somebody I’m not, especially when my meds aren’t kicking in. The feeling of being misunderstood is hard to put into words.

This fall, at one of our local farmers markets, I was attempting to buy parsley. Now, I’m not just any shopper; I’m a trained chef, my husband is a retired farmer, and I used to run our downtown farmers market. So what I’m saying here is that I know what parsley looks like. I didn’t see any on display, so I asked.

Recommended Reading

November 18, 2025 News by Michela Luciano, PhD

Newly ID’d brain ‘noise’ can track Parkinson’s symptom severity

Of course, this was the Friday before our Canadian Thanksgiving, so the market was busy and there were lines to buy everything. Some people were getting impatient, especially with this old lady (that would be me) slowing everything down.

Anyway, the farmer — whom I knew because I was a frequent shopper at their stall — brought out some parsley.

Something else you need to know about me is that I am a people pleaser. I hate disappointing people or hurting their feelings, so I often find myself in situations where I’m trying to avoid conflict at all costs.

This farmer held out the bunch of parsley. It was dried out and sunburned, and didn’t even resemble fresh parsley. But instead of saying, “No, thanks,” for some reason I said, “Is that parsley?” It seemed to me that it was a less hurtful way to say “no,” and I definitely didn’t want to buy it.

The person behind me in line, who was getting quite impatient by this point, said, “It’s flat-leaf parsley, you just don’t recognize it.”

My inner voice went ballistic, and so did my tremor. It was hard for me to speak, but I managed to whisper, “I know what flat-leaf parsley looks like.”

This woman repeated, in a louder voice for the people in the back, “It’s flat-leaf parsley, you just don’t recognize it.” And then she pushed past me.

And that, friends, is how I was bullied into buying parsley that I didn’t want — another thing I can blame on Parkinson’s. The incident left me feeling frustrated and misunderstood, a common occurrence for many of us with the disease. So, heading into this season of hustle, bustle, and general chaos, please keep in mind that sometimes things aren’t always as they seem. A little patience and understanding can go a long way.

Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.