The gift of letting people in
Honest and sometimes vulnerable sharing can actually be liberating
Living with Parkinson’s disease means constantly negotiating the unpredictable: tremors that come and go without warning, stiffness that turns a short walk into a major expedition, fatigue that hits like a wave. It’s easy, almost automatic, to want to handle it all quietly.
I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want to be the reason someone cancels their plans. And perhaps most of all, I don’t want to admit to myself, or to anyone else, that some days I can’t manage things I used to do with ease.
But here’s what I’ve learned: Silence isolates. And sharing — honest, sometimes vulnerable sharing — liberates. When I began opening up to the people closest to me about what I was really feeling and facing, something remarkable happened. Not only did my load feel lighter, but our ability to function together — as family, friends, and colleagues — suddenly became more fluid, more graceful, and more intelligent.
I think of it now as a kind of collective intelligence that only becomes available when we stop pretending we’re fine and start telling the truth.
Take something as simple as planning dinner. Before, I might say I was tired but push through anyway, clattering pans and fumbling ingredients with fingers that didn’t want to cooperate. The result was often frustration, mess, and sometimes a little bit of danger. But when I started saying, “Today’s a low-energy day. I don’t think I can manage cooking,” something shifted. My family didn’t resent the change — they adapted. My daughter might suggest ordering in, my wife might take over the stovetop, or someone might bring a plate over without a word. They weren’t guessing anymore. They knew what I needed because I told them.
This clarity has extended far beyond the kitchen. My friends now ask better questions: “Do you want company or rest?” “Would it help to go for a short walk together or would that feel too hard today?” These questions don’t come from pity — they come from insight, from the shared understanding we’ve built together.
And it works in both directions. When I’m honest about what I’m facing, it gives others permission to do the same. A friend who was quietly struggling with anxiety opened up to me after I shared about a particularly rough week I’d had with Parkinson’s. “I always thought I had to act like everything was under control around you, because you were dealing with so much. But now I realize maybe we can carry these things together,” my friend told me. That moment changed the shape of our friendship. We became allies, not just companions.
There is, of course, vulnerability in this kind of openness. It’s not always easy. Sometimes I still hesitate before speaking up, worried I’ll sound like I’m complaining or asking for too much. But more often than not, what I find on the other side of that risk is not judgment — it’s compassion, understanding, and a stronger web of connection that holds us all up a little higher.
Living with a chronic condition like Parkinson’s can feel like walking through fog. But every time I let someone in — really let them in — it’s like lighting a small lamp, not just for me, but for all of us. Because when we’re honest about our limitations, we create space to care more wisely, more kindly. We become better navigators of each other’s lives.
And in the end, that’s what makes the road easier — not because it’s less steep, but because we’re climbing it together.
Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.
About the Author
Christine Scheer
Beautiful column! I agree wholeheartedly.