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A random Tuesday question
Living with Parkinson’s changes everything. Do you ever spend time day dreaming about your past? If you do, is there a day, a year or a specific experience you would love to relive again? What is it and why?
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11 Replies
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Sorry Ally… but I just noticed your “KeyMaster” title. Something popped into my mind — “The KeyMaster of Gozer” on GhostBusters. Sorry — just my weird sense of humor!
Back to your interesting query. I try NOT to live in the past. I try not to worry about what was. Nor do I try to worry about what might be (i.e. the future). “The past is history, the future is a mystery, the current moment is the PRESENT — and that’s why it’s called a GIFT.
Even struggling with PD, the present has always precious. The time spent with my sons, and time with my spouse, are all rare and precious gifts. I don’t need to “relive” any times ever. Nor do I look back and utter, “I woulda, shoulda, coulda“. My old granddad had an ancient saying from the Hameland (the old country)… “If you put woulda, shoulda, coulda in one hand, and a nickel in another hand, you’ll have almost enough to buy 2 doughnuts!” (When doughnuts were a nickel each).
We often WISH things are / were different (or aren’t too different). Me granddad was often heard saying to his mokopuna, “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride!”.
Cheers…
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Thanks for replying, Alan, and I’m embarrassed to admit this but I’ve never seen Ghost Busters! Maybe it’s time to rectify that…
I like your attitude (and your grandad’s) and it’s one I try to maintain myself, most of the time, but there are some really happy moments from my past that I like to revisit in my daydreams or when looking at old photos. 🙂 I definitely try not to dwell on difficult memories or experiences though – that never ends well! (Plus, as you say, it’s an exercise in futility!)
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I too try not to live in the past but I’d be lying if I said I don’t think about my past experiences playing bass in a local metal band. Before my diagnosis I was playing local shows, bars and clubs. The guys were bummed out when I stepped down. I was still able to play fairly well but I felt like it wasn’t 100%.
I still jam from time to time with friends or relatives. But I mostly play drums these days. I don’t know if I’ll get in front of a crowd again but you never know…
Anyway, that’s my “glory days” story I wouldn’t mind reliving with or without the Parkinson’s.
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Thanks for replying, Robert. I would find it hard not to reminisce about being in a band either – that sounds like a really amazing experience! I hope that you can get a chance to play in front of a crowd again in the future – there’s nothing like it. Do you still go to shows as an audience member?
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It was an amazing experience, one of many I’m most proud of and thankful for. I’m working on my drum skills now. It’s something I enjoy and I feel that it helps with my Parkinson’s as it gets the left and right brain going. In the coming months I hope to get some project going.
And I have attended a few shows but nothing local. I think the last most recent was Depeche Mode in Sacramento. That was awesome and worth the risk of covid exposure lol.
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Hindsight is 20/20 as we all know, but when it comes to Day Dreaming, it is nice to look back and watch my interactions with my children when they were growing up. For anything else, I refuse to put my self on a guilt trip
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That’s a really lovely answer, Joe. Thank you. I find myself reminiscing about my childhood more and more often now (especially as I’m watching my parents and siblings age) and the memories are bittersweet. Those are perhaps the most poignant memories I wish I could go back and re-live – but with an appreciation of how amazing that stage of life was. 🙂
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Thank you Ally.
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I would go back to high school. As weird as that sounds, I would act differently towards people that were different. They were just like me. I just didn’t see it that way, but now I know differently. Sometimes I’m the one that’s “different”
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That’s a really thoughtful answer, Lori. Sort of related – have you kept in touch with anyone from high school? And if you have, have you found those friends/friendships have changed and evolved over time or are there still aspects of your high school selves that remain? (Asking because I’m soon going to be celebrating 20 years of friendship with some of my closest friends from that time in my life and it’s something I’ve been reflecting on recently myself.)
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I try not to dwell on the past too much. I like to think about the present, and the future sometimes. The future scares me a bit, it’s tough not to know what will happen. But the present gives me hope.
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