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That darned depression
Is it me, or is there a greater awareness around the issue of depression. As it becomes mainstreamed in the media, I get the sense that the world is listening, and it is high time we addressed all of the skeletons that lurk in our ensuite walk-in closets.
This is where the trouble is. I am not sure if there enough mental health professionals to take all of this on. I have had some wonderful opportunities to meet with some very insightful people, but there still seems to be a sort of disconnect. The relationship between mental health professionals and patients seem to be laden with protocol and I certainly get that. Given the sensitivity of our matters, the rules must be clear.
Notwithstanding global pandemics, I wonder why it is that the more I surround myself close and loved ones, the more lonely I become. Its like everyone that matters to me has just vanished. This is at the canter of all my issues. No matter where I am or who I’m with, I stand alone. Everyone else is nearby whispering something.
While the pros are helpful, it is CONNECTIONS that are missing. I tried to think of any one thing that has more value than the ties we invest our trust and loyalty to. In the end, the one who has the most connections win.
I wonder if it might be best to take a break from professionals, and try to locate a few kindred spirits who are taking the same journey??
I am so grateful for my dog. Maybe that is a subject for later…..
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4 Replies
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Hi Rob, wow, you really hit the nail on the head with this post. I, too, feel that even though our world is increasingly connected, we’re actually more isolated and alone — at least in North America it seems.
Going back to your specific situation, you mention that you are surrounded by close friends and family but you still feel alone. Is it because you don’t have much in common with them, because you feel isolated because of having a chronic health condition, or something else? Are these new feelings or do you think they have been present for some time? Have you sought counselling in the past or are you thinking about it now?
Thanks for sharing so openly.
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The “why?” in this seems to be the big question. My adult children are distant, reserved, calculated. They always used to call on me for advice, Now I am made to feel obsolete. 0 = a placeholder, It has no value
My childhood pals remained close over the years, but now just polite gestures.
Seriously,,, I can clear a room in 20 seconds flat, just by walking in.
I have seen close to a dozen mental health professionals, and they were always helpful, but we seemed to be unsynchronized.
Many would say “I can’t imagine what you are going through” or “Try to look at the positive side”. Being positive s a huge part in all of this, and I try to live by it on a day-to-day basis, but once in a while one has to find their demons and deal with them before they deal with you.
We are twice challenged. Once with the illness, and again with the mountain of meds. It is important to keep our minds healthy and on the straight track, but for those odd times when things seem a little darker, we need to know that we NEVER stand alone. There may be larger presence, or there may be the best friend you never knew you had. There will be some one/thing that has your back.
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Rob- thank you for sharing this so openly. I’ve struggled with depression too, and am currently trying to determine how to navigate it. Therapy has helped me. And I find that staying active gives me a leg up too.
Do you think you feel lonely because you’re misunderstood? And do you have a community of people who are navigating Parkinsons? My Dad participates in Rock Steady Boxing and I think he and his friends find comfort in the understanding of what it’s like to go through PD.
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Maybe misunderstood. Maybe fear on everyone’s side? I know that I am fearful of
– who I will become
– being institutionalized
– being trapped in a broken body
– not able to advocate
– being judged
– My wife of 30 years looks at me with seething hatred in her eyes, and has mastered the art of multiple put-downs.
I am not sure whats worse: losing someone you love or losing someone’s love. A major change is imminent. Sometimes, its not about love, but rather who you are when they’re around. I no longer even like myself in her presence.
– being lonely,
I am a sensitive. caring person wlth so much love and kindness to give, but I would never turn back to the social scene. My family lives in Toronto, but they have busy lives.
I just don’t know where to go? How to start over. I am not excited about facing this on my own, but I know that I already am, and have been since the start.
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