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    • #16631
      Dan
      Participant

      Most of us PD afflicted become frustrated, disheartened, discouraged and or despondent at some time or other. I have found that humor lightens the load. Realizing that the alligator and swamp analogy may make for hard times when the ’gator is winning, none the less – Humor has a light which shines for those that allow it.

      ‘It ain’t always so funny when the joke is on me’

      That being said, I have started this thread for those who want to share awkward or / and humor carrying  a PersonalDragon around.

       

       

    • #16632
      Dan
      Participant

      Truck Maintenance

      So I crawled under the truck the other day to adjust some wires. The 40 million candle-power utility lights had become shorted out. This operation is decidedly a bit more challenging with PD. Motorcontrol is an obscure slang word for shirt sleeve stuck on sharp protrusion adjacent to several surgical steel drive-line knuckle scalpels . These are invariably mounted on a dog calling device, that when drummed on repeatedly with the part of the forehead that has the least amount of hair and least covered by my ’Save the Walrus Mating Rock’ baseball cap, produces an irresistible, high pitched squeal, that, in turn summoned my two enthusiastic rabbit consuming, flatulent, hair ball belching best friends. Man’s best friend. (s). Mechanical advice was not necessarily required at the time, but my forehead needed a viscous fluid applied liberally, and not just the part that was used to summon said canids. Quickly realizing that my mouth was also in line to receive a vigorous cleansing, and assuming it had to do with my string of Up land bird calls, I placed my face in a opening in the truck body, such that only my ears and chin were exposed. This action exacerbated the excitement level of the two pungently scented canids. Whereupon they both simultaneously decided to inspect my ear drums for wax with their tongues. My ecstatic retorts only drove them to change their attention to the underside up my chin, clumped soil that had fallen from the vehicle now was removed, smeared, applied as a durable film around neck, adams apple area, ear protuberances, ect. I noticed that my voice, reduced to a gargling sound, improved in volume and timbre, once a 1/4 pound clod was expectorated with a mighty expletive “ holy shirt”. “Nice doggies” ! I managed to mutter, “sons of biscuits are fishing bait if I ever expel my bod from this man-eating truck”. Wag wag, wag. By this time, the memory muscles in my buttocks and lower back had retained the exact 3 dimensional shape of every tock, pebble and sticker weed for future referral. Flailing about like a penguin in a cactus patch, I was able to extricate one hand, arm still attached, and persuade canid mechanical engineers to depart the immediate local. A handy 3/4 open end wrench clinched the deal. In chorus, canids declaring with an ear curdling rabbit call, apologized for their unsolicited assistance and left. I gracefully turned this way and that, and determined that if I employed a version of the ‘Texas – Tennessee trot-crawl’, I might get back to a reasonably ambulatory position OUT FROM UNDER THE DAMN TRUCK. Hungry, freshly cleaned from neck to apex, and coveting my new found collection of New Mexico’s puncture vine seeds, commonly named goat—heads, on possibly permanent display from elbow to wrist, I ventured forth to consume sustenance, rest, and expose a lachrymose attitude that is not often revealed. The 40 million candle power utility lights can wait for my first, second, or third born’s overview and eventual re-connect. If they get repaired, I will introduce Bloo and Tobee to the light. Wonder if it will shine through their hides if stretched tightly over the frame on the headache rack cum hide stretcher. Should dry nicely too.

    • #16633
      Dan
      Participant

      <p class=”p1″><span class=”s1″>Truck Maintenance</span></p>
      <p class=”p1″><span class=”s2″>So I crawled under the truck the other day to adjust some wires. The 40 million candle-power utility lights had become shorted out. This operation is decidedly a bit more challenging with PD. Motorcontrol is an obscure slang word for shirt sleeve stuck on sharp protrusion adjacent to several surgical steel drive-line knuckle scalpels . These are invariably mounted on a dog calling device, that when drummed on repeatedly with the part of the forehead that has the least amount of hair and least covered by my ’Save the Walrus Mating Rock’ baseball cap, produces an irresistible, high pitched squeal, that, in turn summoned my two enthusiastic rabbit consuming, flatulent, hair ball belching best friends. Man’s best friend. (s). Mechanical advice was not necessarily required at the time, but my forehead needed a viscous fluid applied liberally, and not just the part that was used to summon said canids. Quickly realizing that my mouth was also in line to receive a vigorous cleansing, and assuming it had to do with my string of Up land bird calls, I placed my face in a opening in the truck body, such that only my ears and chin were exposed. This action exacerbated the excitement level of the two pungently scented canids. Whereupon they both simultaneously decided to inspect my ear drums for wax with their tongues. My ecstatic retorts only drove them to change their attention to the underside up my chin, clumped soil that had fallen from the vehicle now was removed, smeared, applied as a durable film around neck, adams apple area, ear protuberances, ect. I noticed that my voice, reduced to a gargling sound, improved in volume and timbre, once a 1/4 pound clod was expectorated with a mighty expletive “ holy shirt”. “Nice doggies” ! I managed to mutter, “sons of biscuits are fishing bait if I ever expel my bod from this man-eating truck”. Wag wag, wag. By this time, the memory muscles in my buttocks and lower back had retained the exact 3 dimensional shape of every tock, pebble and sticker weed for future referral. Flailing about like a penguin in a cactus patch, I was able to extricate one hand, arm still attached, and persuade canid mechanical engineers to depart the immediate local. A handy 3/4 open end wrench clinched the deal. In chorus, canids declaring with an ear curdling rabbit call, apologized for their unsolicited assistance and left. I gracefully turned this way and that, and determined that if I employed a version of the ‘Texas – Tennessee trot-crawl’, I might get back to a reasonably ambulatory position OUT FROM UNDER THE DAMN TRUCK. Hungry, freshly cleaned from neck to apex, and coveting my new found collection of New Mexico’s puncture vine seeds, commonly named goat—heads, on possibly permanent display from elbow to wrist, I ventured forth to consume sustenance, rest, and expose a lachrymose attitude that is not often revealed. The 40 million candle power utility lights can wait for my first, second, or third born’s overview and eventual re-connect. If they get repaired, I will introduce Bloo and Tobee to the light. Wonder if it will shine through their hides if stretched tightly over the frame on the headache rack cum hide stretcher. Should dry nicely too.</span></p>

    • #16640
      Jean Mellano
      Participant

      Good post Dan.. this morning, i was making a hard boiled egg and when i used the tool to punch a pin hole in the egg, i used too much pressure and the egg splattered all over the floor.  sometimes, i dont know my own strength.   also wrote this article:  https://parkinsonsnewstoday.com/2019/11/05/lost-library-confusion-humor-help-directions/

       

      i’ve got another article coming p in January about getting dressed in the morning.  you r so right, we really need to laugh at ourselves..

    • #16642
      Jean Mellano
      Participant

      dan, u really are hilarious, must never be a dull moment in your household…

    • #16687
      Dan Freedman
      Participant

      Every few weeks, I seem to have 3 – 4 days that are worse (for symptoms) than the rest of the month. I jokingly call it my “Parky Period”.

    • #16710
      Jean Mellano
      Participant

      dan, do you know what triggers your parky period?   is it consecutive days?

    • #16725
      Dan
      Participant

      Can’t speak for the other Dan, but in my case it is literally hour by hour, day by day. yesterday was excellent. today was so miserable, I wanted to run away from home. throat constricted, unable to walk, headache, neck pain. Real challenge to function.

    • #16730
      Jean Mellano
      Participant

      dan, yes, even minute by minute…how i long for a good day.. seems like they r few and far between

    • #16751
      Judy
      Participant

      So my darling hubby (PD 10 yrs) took a hard fall in The kitchen where he had been making turkey soup from the carcass remains from early Thanksgiving Potluck at church.  I rushed in from the office, see him on floor in unnatural position.  On high alert I say “Honey can you get up? “  He tried to push up on hands, as head left the floor a  pool of blood grew under his head.  He lowered himself back down and basically passed out.  As I reach for my cell phone to call 911 I hear a voice saying “Hello, Hello”.  Not from my cell – no other phone nearby.  Voice becomes insistent- “is anybody there?” it says.  Finally I figure out that the voice is coming from my husbands very limp left hand.  So I say to his hand “Hello???”.  The voice says “ This is EMT, Is there an emergency??”.  “ Yes !!!” I say to his watch!  Hmmmm…   his smart watch had detected a hard fall, had tried by vibration and noise to wake him up and get response – receiving neither the sweet smart watch had called 911!  They even knew our address as we had registered earlier.  They were there in 3 minutes – off to ER We went.  Thank You Smart Watch!!!  BTW – I had his current meds list in my hand.  Not a perfect day – but preparations paid off.

    • #16762
      Jean Mellano
      Participant

      hi judy, that must have been frightening for you to find your husband like that.  I know from my own falling experience, there was a lot of blood coming from my head, but the fall looked worse than it was.  I hope your husband is ok.

       

      That is a great story about the watch.  Technology can be a beautiful thing when it works..

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