The clouds hover overhead this afternoon. It echoes my emotional state of mind as of late.
I wake up to sunshine and clear blue skies. By noon there is a scattered mantle of white. By dinner time the sunshine toys with me. There will be no oohing and aahing over a breathtaking sunset tonight.
By the end of the evening, I have followed the life of the sky. When it was clear and sunny, my mind was clear and sunny. As the day progressed, my mood regressed. When the skies turned to darkness with each step I took, so did my outlook.
I have been fighting apathy. I start projects that I strive to finish but lose my motivation and inspiration. I never used to be like that. I could have several projects going and would work on each one a little at a time. And I could leave a project and pick it up later in the day or in the week and remember what step I was on. Getting back to projects nowadays? I don’t care if I do.
Or do I?
Yes! I do care. However, I am sluggish. I often don’t have the energy to start or finish a task I would like to accomplish. And nowadays, due to our friend Corona, it’s not difficult for me to feel friendless.
I had a phenomenal idea last night while feeling alone and somewhat depressed: I could call a friend. If it hadn’t been so late, I would have.
I have been doing well,
stranded sheltering here at home. But, I admit it is starting to get to me. I miss hugs and smiles. This coronavirus has stolen smiles from all over the world. You can’t see people smile under a mask. It’s kind of like having Parkinson’s disease — a permanent masked face.
By social distancing according to the rules, you realize COVID-19 has stolen the warm fuzzies we get from hugs — we’ve given up wrapping our arms around other human beings. This is devastating for many people who are huggers, including me.
The other day I was checking out at the grocery store and the clerk said, “Could you back up a few feet?”
At first I felt insulted. Then I remembered the social distancing rule. I haven’t been out and around others enough lately to have proper distancing at the forefront of my mind. I did have my homemade mask on, which if you have to wear a mask, it should be one you enjoy wearing. (Is there such a thing?) Mine is made out of Mary Engelbreit fabric and yes, I do enjoy it — at least, more than those white sterile ones.
There’s another task left undone: Face masks. I made one for my mom and dad. I’ve yet to mail them.
I guess I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. I sat down to write this column and it’s just about finished. That is a great accomplishment.
What do you do to not feel apathetic? What are your go-to remedies for having the blues on a sunny day? I’d love to hear!
Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.
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