Frustrated and Angry? It’s Not People, It’s Parkinson’s

Sherri Woodbridge avatar

by Sherri Woodbridge |

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I get angry if he does and frustrated when he doesn’t. “He” is my husband.

I am getting rather self-conscious about going out in public. Sometimes, I feel like people who don’t know me perceive me as being a little drunk because I’m off balance when I walk. 

Other times, I feel people view me as ignorant because I’m unable to finish some of my sentences or I lose my train of thought. That’s where he — my husband — comes into play. When we are out in public, I sometimes get angry when he finishes my sentences for me, and at other times, I get frustrated when he doesn’t.

He can’t read my mind, so he won’t always know when I want him to step up and help me out or when I want him to let me communicate on my own. 

The other day, someone asked me an important question. I got so flustered over my response that I stewed over it for two days.

When I saw the person again, my husband was there. I posed the question to him so she could get a clearer, more logical answer. Then I stewed over whether I should have done that. Just as I had anticipated, however, he answered it with knowledge, wisdom, logic, and clarity. I find that harder to do at times with this scatterbrained kind of disease, and it makes me want to cry.

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I have never considered myself a genius, but I have never thought I was stupid, either — until now.

I feel that’s how others perceive me, probably because I tend to view myself that way nowadays.

For example, when I am out for a walk with my neighbor and I am sharing something with her, poof! Just like that, the thought is gone. Or my words feel jumbled and sticky. Or I trip over the silliest things, like my own two feet, and I end up breaking my toe.  

Yes, that was a recent occurrence. 

In my own home. 

In front of all my grandchildren. 

It’s frustrating, and I do grieve the things I’ve lost to this disease — not just speech and balance, but all the things that were mine to use and refine and are now gone or on their way out.  

With all that said, I try to treasure what is still here and make the most of it because I know it could be much, much worse. I also know that if I want to finish my own sentences and feel I am not always given that opportunity, I should actually be grateful there is someone who cares enough to not leave me standing and looking foolish. All I have to do is look at him with “Help” written in my expression, and he comes to my rescue. My hero.

I get angry and frustrated sometimes. I have to remember that Parkinson’s is the cause, not people.

***

Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.

Comments

Mitzi avatar

Mitzi

Bless you, Sherri. You're in my thoughts.

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Kim avatar

Kim

My husband, Pete, was diagnosed in 2012, and I appreciate reading stories about how PD feels bc he doesn’t always have the words to tell me how he is feeling, sometimes...? Kim

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Sherri Woodbridge avatar

Sherri Woodbridge

Kim - I am so very glad you found the article useful. Prayers for you as you care for your husband. He is blessed to have you on his team!

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Jason avatar

Jason

It's a horrendous disease for people to go through. When will there be a cure?

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Barbara A Charles avatar

Barbara A Charles

Thank you .I am going through the same thing.. I get so frustrated.I cry a lot.

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Sherri Woodbridge avatar

Sherri Woodbridge

Keep pressing on - we’re in this together!

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John Hill avatar

John Hill

Thank you for this article, I'm starting to experience the exact same issues. I shared with my wife and she says thanks also.

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Sherri Woodbridge avatar

Sherri Woodbridge

Thanks for your comment - I’m glad it was of some use!

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Angela avatar

Angela

Everything you just wrote....it’s everything I feel. I am 48 with Parkinson’s and it feels like such a large portion of my life stolen. I have so much that I am blessed with, but there is also such a terrible mourning with this disease. You are brave for putting your experience out there. It is very helpful.

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Sherri Woodbridge avatar

Sherri Woodbridge

Angela - thank you for your comment and I am glad you found it helpful.

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Donald A Cassaday avatar

Donald A Cassaday

I was a truck driver.now I'm not,and my wife has to chase after me from time to time,I get lost

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Rebecca Auer avatar

Rebecca Auer

Thank you! My father was diagnosed and I, being on the other end, wonder if I’m doing too much or not enough. This article was sent to me by my dad. It helped him open up about how he is feeling with the changes in his life, and it has helped me understand.

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Marie avatar

Marie

My generally sweet tempered husband was diagnosed in 2009 with PD. This past year has seen a major cognitive and physical decline. I have Multiple Sclerosis which has been fairly stable. He has really begun to exhibit bursts of anger over relative minor issues. Has become quite combative and stubborn. His unkind angry remarks are totally undoing me. I’m trying to walk away to allow a cooling space but it’s difficult. With my MS I too struggle with anxiety and mild depression. We’ve been married 54 years. We’ve had more angry outburst this past year than the other 53 years. Can someone suggest some coping strategies?

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