What is Parkinson’s Disease? This is Parkinson’s Disease

Sherri Woodbridge avatar

by Sherri Woodbridge |

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Little Monster

Sherri Journeying Through

My knees are shaking and it’s not from nervousness. This is Parkinson’s disease.

Stiff muscles abound throughout my aching body. This is Parkinson’s disease.

My lips quiver, my teeth click, smiles turn into frowns. This is Parkinson’s disease.

My toes and fingers bend involuntarily because … this is Parkinson’s disease.

My legs, my arms, my sides, my back, my stomach, they can all seize up in great twisting pain for … this is Parkinson’s disease.

My voice can falter and fade, and I shout when they yell at me to “speak up” because … this is Parkinson’s disease.

I choke on my food and swallowing is becoming harder. This is Parkinson’s disease.

I can trip, I can fall, I walk like a shuffling penguin. This is Parkinson’s disease.

Writing has become difficult and frustrating. What once was legible is now a Parkinson’s “scratch.”

The “Little Monster” is to blame for most of what is wrong with me because “Little Monster” is Parkinson’s disease, and Parkinson’s disease is “Little Monster.”

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The good and the bad and the happy and the sad are both a blessing and a curse because … this is Parkinson’s disease.

On one side I am almost free, and on the other, I am bound in chains because … this is Parkinson’s disease.

Confusion and some irritability can be blamed on Parkinson’s. And why not? If I must bear this crazy disease, then I ask you … why not?

Why not blame it for being snappy and silly, for running into walls and tripping over chairs, and all things else like that?

Why not blame it for everything in life gone wrong? Seems fair. It took from my life what wasn’t its to take, and it just keeps taking and taking.

Am I angry? No. I hold no grudges about that which I cannot see, and though I can see God in this world around me, I do not blame Him. I do not see Him in this hideous disease, but I see Him more clearly because of it.

I see Him because by His comfort and His care and the way He loves me through this … this Parkinson’s disease. With His strong arms and His great, matchless mercy and relentless grace.

He is in the all — His faithfulness is trustworthy. It may be because of Parkinson’s that I may suffer, but it is with hope that I endure.

And it’s because of God I live joy unspeakable — in spite of this “Little Monster” I call … Parkinson’s disease.

***

Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Today or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s disease.

Comments

RON WAUL, CAREGIVER avatar

RON WAUL, CAREGIVER

I WAS WATCHING HBO BOXING SATURDAY NIGHT & COMMENTATORS WERE
COMMENTING ON FEDDIE ROACH'S (LEGENDARY BOXING TRAINER) IMPROVEMENT. HE HAS PARKINSONS & I ALSO NOTICED HIS SYMPTOMS WERE MUCH LESS APPARENT & HE LOOKED HEALTHIER THAN LAST TIME I SAW HIM ON TV.

MONTHS AGO I SAW HIM ON TV & HE WAS HAVING GREAT DIFFICULTY WITH PD & I THOIUGHT HE WOULD HAVE TO RETIRE.

DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT HE MIGHT BE DOING THAT HAS MADE SUCH A REMARKABLE DIFFERENCE?

Reply
Sherri Woodbridge avatar

Sherri Woodbridge

Hi Ron - I cannot speak to your question directly, so hopefully someone else will be able to but I will say that boxing is now the rage for exercise in PD so perhaps with all his years at it, it may be paying off for him. That is definitely a non-medical/expert response! But, I’m planning on trying it soon! All to say, exercise is supposed to be one of the greatest things you can do for PD.

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Alan Tobey avatar

Alan Tobey

Forgive me for sounding callous, and as a PwP in my tenth year I have every sympathy for the symptoms described. I've experienced most of them during my journey in Parkinson's Land.

But I don't understand the reason for publishing a moving list of symptoms and problems without describing all the positive things we can personally do to improve our daily lives: ever-better meds to address both common and some uncommon symptoms and maximize our functional ON time measured by tremor, encouragement to exercise as much as possible to regain more normal gait and fluidity of motion, the newer neuroplastic techniques to gain mindful control of some muscular routines, surgical interventions like DBS, and quite a bit more. We are NOT "bound in chains" all the time but remain conscious free agents of our own daily lives. Every year of my life with PD has taught me something new to work on, and I actively advocate for the idea of maximizing SOCIAL on time -- as much as possible getting off the couch and out into the world. A little human interaction goes a long way.

Could someone address the approach taken here? Is obsession with our symptoms normative? How does this fit within the LEARN MORE prompt that's on the bottom of my screen right now?

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Sherri Woodbridge avatar

Sherri Woodbridge

Hi Paul - I, like you, have lived with PD for several years (20+) and the symptoms are not always relentless, but on some days they are. But I write about those days as well (and hopefully with great encouragement and understanding) as readers who struggle (especially those who are struggling while they are reading my articles) appreciate knowing someone can personally understand what they are going through. There is great comfort being able to read and/or share that which you yourself cannot put into words but someone else can for you. The fact is, there are just some days which PD is not easy to write and/or read about and that is why I try in each article to end in hope and encouragement, leaving the reader to hopefully see that they are not alone in this fight. Thanks for your comment. I do appreciate it.

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Jamajo avatar

Jamajo

Please leave the religious dogma out of this. Him? His? I say ridiculous!

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