Never Give In When the Going Gets Tough

Some people keep journals, some keep diaries, some record life’s events on their calendars. I have done all three.

I kept a diary as a young girl, and then moved onto journals (although I tend to think they are more one in the same). I keep a record of events on my calendar, as well. And I write. I write stories — fiction, non-fiction, children’s stories, devotionals, short stories, articles and poems. I just love to write.

Sometimes, however, it is hard to write. I am either struggling with a blank brain or a slow brain (usually the latter). Sometimes it takes me forever to get the words onto paper or computer screen. My fingers won’t cooperate. I get discouraged, frustrated, annoyed.

That is when I usually write poems. They tend to capture the essence of what I am going through in less space. They are more, shall I say, “heartfelt” than an article I might write on the latest stem cell breakthrough.

So, having said that, today I’m sharing one of my poems about having Parkinson’s disease. I hope you are inspired to write a little something of your own. If you do, share it with me. I’d love to hear what you have to say. Journey on!

Never Give In

drooling on my pillow
shuffling with my feet
choking when i do
and when i don’t eat

shaking –
my jaw, my lips, my face
all points are quivering
and i feel so out of place

i’m shaking on the outside
i’m shaking from within
i’m shaking all over
right out of my skin

toes that curl and cramp
fingers that stiffen and won’t bend
it is in my future
to never feel normal again

stiffness on the left
stiffness on the right
more cramping, more pain, more everything
every muscle is so very tight

lots and lots
and lots and lots of more pain
pain masked, pain ignored
pain again and again and again

grief for things gained
grief again for things lost
and trying to live each day with joy
no matter what the cost

out of my control
i’m controlled by my subnormal brain
sometimes i feel so into the out-of-control
that i’ll go completely insane

depression vies for my attention
i push it back into its place
it beckons, mocks, screams my name
but i am not going to run its race

my speech is soft
my speech gets slurred
others often don’t hear
they think i haven’t said a word

I’m mixed up and get mixed up
it may be out of my control
and it might claim my body
but it will never break my spirit
nor will it ever take my soul

***

Note: Parkinson’s News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Parkinson’s News Todayor its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Parkinson’s Disease.